Harold ff. Gyles: the masseuse who didn’t discriminate
I was the judge at the trial of a man charged with living off the avails of prostitution. A woman testified that she worked for the man, but that she was only a masseuse and had never done anything improper. The prosecutor did not hide his sarcasm as he questioned her: “You say you have never done anything improper. So tell me, witness, how much do you charge to massage genitals?” She hesitated and then replied: “The same as I charge Jews.”

Richard Wolson: a full service lawyer
My client was charged with a serious offence. I told him, "If you ever need any help, call me." One night at three o'clock in the morning, my phone rang. It was my client. He said he had just swallowed a quarter. I asked why he was calling me. He said, "You told me to that if I ever needed help I should call you."

George Dangerfield: an honest cop
Jack Montgomery and I prosecuted a case involving magazines that were allegedly pornographic. Sergeant William Hrycyk had seized the magazines. When he testified in court, he was asked what feelings he had when he read the sexually explicit material, and especially one magazine that showed a naked young man seated on a motorcycle with his private parts draped over the saddle in front of him. Hrycyk's reply was expected to be something like "shock” or "disgust", but he answered, "Jealousy." Everyone in the courtroom broke up.

An anonymous lawyer receives a compliment
A woman came to see me about a legal problem. She said a friend of hers was a former client of mine and had recommended me. That made me feel rather good, and so I decided to stretch the compliment by asking what her friend said about me. The woman replied, "She says you're an asshole but you did a good job."